February 9, 2010 Features

Mental mating

Self Proclaimed Love Guru Teaches The Art of Attraction

by Mirielle Tarcha

Apparently, hypnotism is all you need to make the connection. GRAPHIC CAITLIN CHARBONNEAU

Love is on the brain for those of us who want to make Valentine’s Day magic with a special someone. For Bedros “Spidey” Akkelian, a third-year Concordia sociology student, teaching others the tricks of this trade is just part of the job.

Spidey’s experiments range from hypnosis to performance, from magic to mentalism, and have led him to create what he now calls the Art of Attraction. It’s a program for people—mostly men—who hope to improve their social abilities and interactive skills.

“I’ve been a magician and performer my whole life and noticed in my teenage years that when I performed magic, there was a certain attractive quality to it,” he said.

Spidey started AoA by trying to figure out how to play up attractive qualities and perfect the art of attracting potential love interests, but was unsure where to begin. He said he was used to hiding behind his magic during shows and “didn’t even know how to walk up to people.”
His process of figuring out the delicate social graces of modern romance may seem contentious or unethical to some. For example, Spidey claims he spent weeks observing the homeless—whom he believes to be masters of approach.

“They have the gift of walking up to someone and within minutes, they get money from them,” he said. Spidey figured if they were successful approaching strangers, he could “surely get a conversation or a phone number or something.” Spidey says he can now “walk right up to a girl and ask for her phone number. I can approach her and demonstrate interest, I can even start under the radar and then move towards deeper connection and attraction, which eventually became my style.”

Spidey spent three months testing and discovering the different types of social approaches, favouring a trial-and-error approach. For the first two months, he was reluctant to try out his new technique, and when he did, he didn’t fare very well.

But as time wore on, Spidey started to notice the patterns of social interaction.
“Things as subtle as body language can make a difference,” he said, explaining that women are masters at reading subtext. “It doesn’t matter what you’re saying. If your body isn’t saying the same thing, they know it.”

After figuring out how to apply his newfound techniques, he reintroduced his magic into the equation and added elements of neurolinguistic programming, which is a method of speaking that gives you the ability “to guide people in certain directions.”

Last year, when Spidey was interviewed by Mirror, he rebuffed the interviewer’s suggestion that “hypnotizing a girl into desiring one’s mighty bone [is] pretty well the moral equivalent of slipping Rohypnol into her drink.”

“It’s not hypnosis and the emphasis is clearly not about getting laid,” he argued. “We’re not manipulating girls here, we’re just increasing our attractiveness to them.”

A great believer in monogamy, Spidey teaches his students that the goal is not to simply “pick up,” but to create a deeper connection for a strongly-rooted relationship, one that emerges from value and respect—all for a price of $995.

There are many other programs out there that teach men how to approach women, but Spidey claims his is about making a connection.

“Even if we know that we can walk into a bar, a coffee house or anywhere else and create a solid connection with anyone we want, we will not deceive that connection. It’s important to maintain a level of trust,” he said.

After a workshop, Spidey said, every student leaves with something different, something that shapes who they are as individuals.

“They learn self-fulfilment, to internally accept themselves,” he continued.
Spidey insisted that these qualities are very attractive to women, who pick up on the confidence. It doesn’t matter to Spidey if students are single or in happy relationships, since he says anyone can gain from taking his workshops.

“Rules of attraction are fundamental,” he said. “Whether it’s a four-year relationship, a two-week relationship or if I’m approaching someone for the first time, there are certain things [...] that will create and maintain a connection.”

Spidey emphasized that attraction doesn’t have to mean seduction.

“There’s a good reason this program is not called ‘The Art of How to Sleep with Women,’” he said. “These guys are part of a social world [and] the universal rules of attraction can be applied to a business meeting just as much as they can be applied to [romance].

“Women have a sixth sense. Teaching guys how to drop their motives, be who they are and just go with it is probably the simplest way to explain what a guy can get out of a workshop with us.”

For more information about Art of Attraction, check out spideyaoa.com