March 2, 2010 Sports

Velo, Boulot, Dodo

Get greased up for the bike season

by Tristan Lapointe

Do you remember what it was like to ride your bike a month ago? The January warm snap aside, I’m willing to bet your pre-commute preparations lasted longer than your actual ride over the past few months. Wool, Gore-Tex, seal skin and layer after stinky base layer were slipped on and strapped tight just to leave the house.

When you actually did get on the streets they were covered with bullshit—slush, snow, and at best a fine layer of grit coated everything, including you and your bike.

The most enjoyable parts of riding were sucked away too. How we have all missed actually leaning into corners instead of gingerly tiptoeing around them. Or riding a bike that doesn’t sound like it’s making popcorn every time you turn the pedals. Rejoice all, it’s almost over.
This time of year winter cyclists have a lot to look forward to. As the temperatures climb, the roads get dryer and become more easily navigable. The equipment required for a 20-minute jaunt to school diminishes. And the technical outerwear that made you stick out like a sore thumb at every class, party and bar you went to this year is slowly moving south from your body, and soon you’ll cast it off like an old snake skin. Sure the mail/weed couriers and their imitators will still look like paramilitary spacemen, but casual cycling will soon make its yearly come back. Riding will again be a “normal” thing to do.

While we’re all looking forward to it, some will say that spring has its downsides. The first thing you lose in the summer is a motorist’s respect. Nobody wants to be the asshole who ran over a cyclist in the winter, but now that streets are clear and driving is easier people are going to get dumber. Expect stupid driving to peak with the mercury, just like violence!
The bike lanes will once again be filled with fair weather cyclists sporting their de rigeur kit of noise-cancelling headphones and rusty 10-speeds. If you plan to share the de Maisonneuve Boulevard path with these people, get a bell, or better yet a fucking klaxon.

If you’re a real alt guy or girl and the change of seasons has you down, take heart, you’ve got one last chance at riding-for-credibility. This Saturday, Montreal’s messengers are hosting the billionth annual ice race. Show up at the corner of St-Antoine Street West and St-Ferdinand Street at noon on March 6 for the action. There’s a small admission fee that gives you a chance at multiple fabulous prizes, and two race classes for people with studded or non-studded tires will divide the competition. Come out, celebrate spring and get cold and wet one last time!